Reality bites...hard
Anyone who is following this blog saw what a crisis of conscience I had when I was contacted by an ex-boyfriend. In the end, I responded and informed MF that it had happened. Honesty is the best policy. But honesty swings both ways. The ex had told me that he still had feelings and rued the day he gave me up. A very nice, if somewhat pleading, email. I wrote that I appreciated him being honest with me, but that I was perfectly happy as I was. I was of course sad that we didn't work out, but I am moving on with my life.
So now, what to do about my impending marriage. Should I tell him? He could hear from mutual friends, would that be rude to come from a third party? I decided, a month after the fact, to tell him in a jovial "hey, how's it going?" type of email, because he was my friend, we were close, and I wouldn't want his feelings hurt.
Turns out he had already been told. He wasn't sad, he was just ok. He appreciated hearing it from me, despite the fact that I wasn't the first to tell him.
Now, MF is in the same boat with his ex-wife. To tell or not to tell. He is in the same situation...a mutual friend could tell her, so to inform her would be the decent, if unnecessary, thing to do.
It's strange, making that closure, ending a chapter with finality. We are moving on.
So now, what to do about my impending marriage. Should I tell him? He could hear from mutual friends, would that be rude to come from a third party? I decided, a month after the fact, to tell him in a jovial "hey, how's it going?" type of email, because he was my friend, we were close, and I wouldn't want his feelings hurt.
Turns out he had already been told. He wasn't sad, he was just ok. He appreciated hearing it from me, despite the fact that I wasn't the first to tell him.
Now, MF is in the same boat with his ex-wife. To tell or not to tell. He is in the same situation...a mutual friend could tell her, so to inform her would be the decent, if unnecessary, thing to do.
It's strange, making that closure, ending a chapter with finality. We are moving on.
posted by Jennifer @ 1:12 p.m.
1 Comments:
At 5:00 p.m.,
Anonymous said…
I didn't tell me ex-husband when I got remarried because I assumed he would be 'weird' about it. He found out about six months after the fact, and he was more hurt that I didn't tell him. He was actually genuinely happy for me, which was a surprise. So, I doubt I'm helping with your dilemma, but I think you're right, honesty is the best policy. I regret not telling him myself.
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