Celebrity Wah-Wah

That last post that barely mentioned Lindsay Lohan has got me all worked up, so I am devoting a small post to celebrity wah-wah's.

1) Oprah Winfrey: "I'm so important that people must have a store open for me even if they closed 15 minutes ago, and you know what, I'm going to ruin their reputation on national television and in every single press junket I hold, because I'm Oprah Winfrey. Rules don't apply to me. Don't you know who I am? But hey, I keep it real, I know where I come from, and if I can't get a bloody Hermes scarf at 6.15pm at night, I'm going to stamp my feet and scream like a little girl, because that's how it's done in the 'hood".

2) Lindsay Lohan: "I've been famous for about 3 days, and I'm sick of it. Why don't you leave me and my fast-driving, enhanced-cleavage, party-hearty, boyfriend-stealing, self-mutilating, tabloid-fodder skinny ass alone? My song was only used in the credits of the film. The credits!! The humiliation! Don't you know who I am? I starting modeling at age four, plebians. I want to be a singer now. Daddy, have you met any record producers while you were in jail?"

3) Bob Geldof: "Canada 's PM shouldn't even bother coming to G8...we don't want him there. Oh yeah right, I don't actually get a say in these things, but hey. You know, the PM should get off his ass trying to solve things like Canadian Beef embargos, farming subsidies, healthcare, and uniting a country on the verge of separation, and come over here and make me look like a hero. Oh, and then we'll give all that money to corrupt African officials. Yeah, the problem is that the people are poor, NOT that the method of distibution is faulty. That much I know"