Can live with him...can't kill him...
After all of the blissful postings about MB the last few weeks, the other shoe had to drop at some point. I don't understand how you can be so happy and in love one minute, and muttering under your breath about hating him the next.
We went back to the clients house to finish the floors. This will be, oh, about my 18th hour working on this floor, BTW. For free. As a favour. So HE can have some extra cash.
We start out ok, but ever since Sunday, he's been in this cranky mood. Not necessarily directed at anyone, just generally in a mood. So we are laying the floors, trying to get the floors straight. During this time, I'm trying my damndest to keep a quarter inch gap around the floor because we need it for the floors expansion. Unfortunately, the hammering of the pieces together shifted the end pieces and they ended up beiung closer to the wall than I would have liked. Oh well, I thought, I'll just try and correct the problem as I go...no big deal. We get to the transition between the living room and dining room and MB looks up. "You didn't leave a 1/4" gap" he says, angry. "I tried" I say "But the pieces kept on shifting and you told me not to use the spacers, so it was difficult". At this point, he says "You just don't care anymore do you?" to which I wanely smile and say "Of course I do". He again accuses me of not caring and starts going on about how it is essential to have the gap, and am I stupid for not telling him about the problem? He starts shifting the floor around to create a gap, while I just stand there like a mute. OK, I know I should have left more of a gap, but the floor will be just fine, and I DO CARE!
So, I just bite my tongue and take another piece of the floor and start putting it in, but I can't get it to line up right, so I'm sort of holding it in the groove to figure out where it is catching, when he grabs the piece from me, says I'm just fucking around now, and shoulder barges me out of the way. I was crouching on my heels, so I fall over and have to put my hands out to stop myself from going sprawling. I couldn't believe it! He just shoved me!!
At that point I get up and just go wander around the kitchen so I don't start bawling my eyes out (note: I'm very, very sensitive and I can cry at the drop of a hat). Besides which, the client is in the house and I can't be crying. So, I'm doing the whole waving the hands in front of my eyes to stop myself from crying, and I sit on the stairs to cool down. I don't want to start an argument here. MB just throws himself into the floor, sawing and snapping like a crazy man. Eventually, he asks if I'm going to help. So I get up and go to help again. I told him I didn't appreciate being pushed, and I want an apology. To that, he says "I'm sorry for pushing you" in that sarcastic, condescending way that guys do (girls, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about), but I let it go. Not here, I tell myself. I take another piece of floor, still near weeping and a little shaken up about the pushing. I am kneeling to snap it in when he tells me the piece is broken. I ask him how he knows, and he points to a big chunk out of the side I hadn't noticed. And I'm putting it in backwards, he says with a sneer.
Now I'm mad and upset. I go to put the piece down but I guess I was more mad than I thought because I threw the piece more than I placed it down. He starts yelling "HEY! Stop being such a child!" and then I start to cry for real. Between trying to hide tears, I kept laying the floor. After this point, he was so rough and gruff with the flooring that he trapped my fingers twice, once was hard enough to break the skin on two fingers...this did not help the crying situation.
I didn't say a word to him for the rest of the night. I can't believe that I'm trying to help him out, and that's what I get. I'm not a professional flooring expert and he knows that, but I AM trying my BEST and I'm certainly not messing anything up on purpose. I take great offense to that and to be shoved around and insulted because of a mistake is inexcusable.
Girls, you are going to REALLY hear me about the next part. All of the way home, he's asking "what's wrong?" in a sweet, concerned voice.
SIDENOTE: You know what guys? When you ask a girl what's wrong, and she says "nothing" and you get all pissy because you think that you have to guess what's wrong with her...just think back to what you have done/said that past hour/day. It's probably directly related to that. You are just in denial that you did anything wrong because you are too clueless to figure it out. Stop being so bloody self absorbed and realize that, if your girl doesn't want to tell you what's wrong, it's not going to be because of something that happened to her at work, the shopping centre, or the gym. She won't want to talk with YOU about it, because it is something that YOU have done, and she is waiting for an apology. And if you don't know what to apologize about, just use your brain. The north brain, not the south brain.
Sorry about that rant. Anyway, expect for the rudeness, the shouting and the shove, I guess nothing was wrong, right? I don't know why guys go into instant denial as soon as they've done something wrong, but oh well. I just can't believe that here he is, asking me what is wrong and trying to be really sweet, when all we need is an apology. How clueless do you have to be to not realize that shoving your girlfriend may warrant her getting a little upset?
Anyway, after the uncomfortable drive home, and an uncomfortable drive in this morning, I get an email. General gist of it is:
a) What's wrong?
b) I'm sorry I was cranky
c) BUT (Dr. Phil says that a BUT is just a way of negating what you have just said)
d) I wanted it done perfectly
e) BUT (see above)
f) That wasn't an excuse for being rude
g) Is there something going on at work that you are upset about (!!!: see above sidenote)
h) I love you
Yeah, I love you too...you just make it so damn difficult sometimes...
We went back to the clients house to finish the floors. This will be, oh, about my 18th hour working on this floor, BTW. For free. As a favour. So HE can have some extra cash.
We start out ok, but ever since Sunday, he's been in this cranky mood. Not necessarily directed at anyone, just generally in a mood. So we are laying the floors, trying to get the floors straight. During this time, I'm trying my damndest to keep a quarter inch gap around the floor because we need it for the floors expansion. Unfortunately, the hammering of the pieces together shifted the end pieces and they ended up beiung closer to the wall than I would have liked. Oh well, I thought, I'll just try and correct the problem as I go...no big deal. We get to the transition between the living room and dining room and MB looks up. "You didn't leave a 1/4" gap" he says, angry. "I tried" I say "But the pieces kept on shifting and you told me not to use the spacers, so it was difficult". At this point, he says "You just don't care anymore do you?" to which I wanely smile and say "Of course I do". He again accuses me of not caring and starts going on about how it is essential to have the gap, and am I stupid for not telling him about the problem? He starts shifting the floor around to create a gap, while I just stand there like a mute. OK, I know I should have left more of a gap, but the floor will be just fine, and I DO CARE!
So, I just bite my tongue and take another piece of the floor and start putting it in, but I can't get it to line up right, so I'm sort of holding it in the groove to figure out where it is catching, when he grabs the piece from me, says I'm just fucking around now, and shoulder barges me out of the way. I was crouching on my heels, so I fall over and have to put my hands out to stop myself from going sprawling. I couldn't believe it! He just shoved me!!
At that point I get up and just go wander around the kitchen so I don't start bawling my eyes out (note: I'm very, very sensitive and I can cry at the drop of a hat). Besides which, the client is in the house and I can't be crying. So, I'm doing the whole waving the hands in front of my eyes to stop myself from crying, and I sit on the stairs to cool down. I don't want to start an argument here. MB just throws himself into the floor, sawing and snapping like a crazy man. Eventually, he asks if I'm going to help. So I get up and go to help again. I told him I didn't appreciate being pushed, and I want an apology. To that, he says "I'm sorry for pushing you" in that sarcastic, condescending way that guys do (girls, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about), but I let it go. Not here, I tell myself. I take another piece of floor, still near weeping and a little shaken up about the pushing. I am kneeling to snap it in when he tells me the piece is broken. I ask him how he knows, and he points to a big chunk out of the side I hadn't noticed. And I'm putting it in backwards, he says with a sneer.
Now I'm mad and upset. I go to put the piece down but I guess I was more mad than I thought because I threw the piece more than I placed it down. He starts yelling "HEY! Stop being such a child!" and then I start to cry for real. Between trying to hide tears, I kept laying the floor. After this point, he was so rough and gruff with the flooring that he trapped my fingers twice, once was hard enough to break the skin on two fingers...this did not help the crying situation.
I didn't say a word to him for the rest of the night. I can't believe that I'm trying to help him out, and that's what I get. I'm not a professional flooring expert and he knows that, but I AM trying my BEST and I'm certainly not messing anything up on purpose. I take great offense to that and to be shoved around and insulted because of a mistake is inexcusable.
Girls, you are going to REALLY hear me about the next part. All of the way home, he's asking "what's wrong?" in a sweet, concerned voice.
SIDENOTE: You know what guys? When you ask a girl what's wrong, and she says "nothing" and you get all pissy because you think that you have to guess what's wrong with her...just think back to what you have done/said that past hour/day. It's probably directly related to that. You are just in denial that you did anything wrong because you are too clueless to figure it out. Stop being so bloody self absorbed and realize that, if your girl doesn't want to tell you what's wrong, it's not going to be because of something that happened to her at work, the shopping centre, or the gym. She won't want to talk with YOU about it, because it is something that YOU have done, and she is waiting for an apology. And if you don't know what to apologize about, just use your brain. The north brain, not the south brain.
Sorry about that rant. Anyway, expect for the rudeness, the shouting and the shove, I guess nothing was wrong, right? I don't know why guys go into instant denial as soon as they've done something wrong, but oh well. I just can't believe that here he is, asking me what is wrong and trying to be really sweet, when all we need is an apology. How clueless do you have to be to not realize that shoving your girlfriend may warrant her getting a little upset?
Anyway, after the uncomfortable drive home, and an uncomfortable drive in this morning, I get an email. General gist of it is:
a) What's wrong?
b) I'm sorry I was cranky
c) BUT (Dr. Phil says that a BUT is just a way of negating what you have just said)
d) I wanted it done perfectly
e) BUT (see above)
f) That wasn't an excuse for being rude
g) Is there something going on at work that you are upset about (!!!: see above sidenote)
h) I love you
Yeah, I love you too...you just make it so damn difficult sometimes...
posted by Jennifer @ 10:01 a.m.
1 Comments:
At 2:06 p.m.,
Jesse Hattabaugh said…
Just to play devils advocate (as well I should as I happen to be one of the devils), about your sidenote. In some situations (not your's per-say) the crime is more ambiguous and we (men) really don't think we did anything wrong. "What's wrong" means "What part of what happened back there has you upset, and lets talk about it". You have to take into consideration that sometimes offenses are relative. To you it was a "Shove!" to him it might have been a forceful display of frustration. Men are not socialized the same as women, we're treated rough, and sometimes, especially when a man and a woman are working together we can let slip a few man-to-man gestures, such as the shoulder budge, or the time honored way of telling someone they're doing a bad job, the tool-take-away. Now I admit, I did not witness the budge in question, so I have no idea what the intended effect was, but I'll bet he didn't mean to knock you down, and I'll bet he felt sorry for that although his pride wouldn't let him admit that right away. So maybe he just figured you had gotten over it, think about how many times men are pushed in their lifetimes, we get over it quick. To you, it was obvious what you were upset about, but perhaps it's less obvious to him.
Again, just playing devils advocate and I wasn't there so what do I know? I've been in MB's shoes a time or two. Just be thankful he apologized and don't over-analyze. There have been a few times where I'm sure I didn't apologize at all.
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