Oooooh the irony...
We just booked our honeymoon today, which I am totally and utterly thrilled to bits about. Nothing gets me all fired up like the prospect of a vacation as you can see through my March 2005 posts about Cuba. So, we (I mean "I") splurged and booked Maui. Yes, Maui. Fant-a-bulous Maui.
And I haven't got a coin in my wallet. Not one.
Since my sister came, and since I spoiled her beyond all reasonable means (including my own means...dinners out, shows, more dinners out, clothing, cosmetics, entertainment, MORE dinners out) I am now completely overdrawn on my account and can't even scratch together a $5 to get me through to Thursday.
I couldn't find a post on this, so I assumed I never wrote it. Three years ago (almost exactly), I was living by myself in an apartment I could not afford. I had stacks of debt on credit card and lines of credit and my job simply didn't make me enough each pay to get me through with the basics. I was overdrawn each month and I was barely hanging in there. I had no social life to speak of, and no luxuries if you don't count a passive-aggressive cat. The point of no-return came on an October Tuesday, when MF and I were at the end of our rope. I was SO overdrawn, I could overdraw no more. My credit cards were maxed, my line of credit was packed, and I had $5 in my wallet. MF was in an equal bind...fresh in divorce-ladened debt, his available credit was zero, he couldn't even afford his mortgage payments each month, and worse than me, he had NO cash. And we had to buy enough food to get us dinner that night, lunch and dinner the next, before our pay came around again.
No savings, no money, no nothing. This was truly the lowest point for us. I felt like a failure. What the hell was I doing? I didn't deserve to be called an adult, I had misused or misappropriated what little I did have. Somehow, we managed to buy a loaf of bread and 6 eggs, figuring that the dusty can of tuna in my cupboard could be divided four ways over four sandwiches, and an omelette would be filling. We ate in silence. I was terrified.
I look back on that and am thankful that I hit that point. Somehow, through some form of grace, or at the very least, a soppy movie ending, it all got better. MF asked me to move in with him. I paid him rent (1/4 of what I paid living alone) which allowed him to afford his mortgage. I got a better job with more money, and suddenly I'm booking a honeymoon to Maui. It all works out in the end...but why? That's the mystery.
I have had a little taste of that day in October this week. No money in my wallet, but an empty credit card to use if I must. Savings in the bank. An RRSP for my future. I've realized that, if things seem bad, that just means you aren't at "the end" yet...ain't no fat lady singing. Everyday just takes you in one direction, to the inevitable conclusion of the story...I hope you are travelling up.
And I haven't got a coin in my wallet. Not one.
Since my sister came, and since I spoiled her beyond all reasonable means (including my own means...dinners out, shows, more dinners out, clothing, cosmetics, entertainment, MORE dinners out) I am now completely overdrawn on my account and can't even scratch together a $5 to get me through to Thursday.
I couldn't find a post on this, so I assumed I never wrote it. Three years ago (almost exactly), I was living by myself in an apartment I could not afford. I had stacks of debt on credit card and lines of credit and my job simply didn't make me enough each pay to get me through with the basics. I was overdrawn each month and I was barely hanging in there. I had no social life to speak of, and no luxuries if you don't count a passive-aggressive cat. The point of no-return came on an October Tuesday, when MF and I were at the end of our rope. I was SO overdrawn, I could overdraw no more. My credit cards were maxed, my line of credit was packed, and I had $5 in my wallet. MF was in an equal bind...fresh in divorce-ladened debt, his available credit was zero, he couldn't even afford his mortgage payments each month, and worse than me, he had NO cash. And we had to buy enough food to get us dinner that night, lunch and dinner the next, before our pay came around again.
No savings, no money, no nothing. This was truly the lowest point for us. I felt like a failure. What the hell was I doing? I didn't deserve to be called an adult, I had misused or misappropriated what little I did have. Somehow, we managed to buy a loaf of bread and 6 eggs, figuring that the dusty can of tuna in my cupboard could be divided four ways over four sandwiches, and an omelette would be filling. We ate in silence. I was terrified.
I look back on that and am thankful that I hit that point. Somehow, through some form of grace, or at the very least, a soppy movie ending, it all got better. MF asked me to move in with him. I paid him rent (1/4 of what I paid living alone) which allowed him to afford his mortgage. I got a better job with more money, and suddenly I'm booking a honeymoon to Maui. It all works out in the end...but why? That's the mystery.
I have had a little taste of that day in October this week. No money in my wallet, but an empty credit card to use if I must. Savings in the bank. An RRSP for my future. I've realized that, if things seem bad, that just means you aren't at "the end" yet...ain't no fat lady singing. Everyday just takes you in one direction, to the inevitable conclusion of the story...I hope you are travelling up.
posted by Jennifer @ 5:09 p.m.
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