Tick-Tock

I've developed a twitch (or tick) in my left hand. ANNOYING! These things usually develop for me after a bout with stress, when I am back in recovery mode. I think that my muscles get so tight for so long when stressed, that as soon as I start to relax a tiny bit, either my eye or my hand gets a mind of its own. It's like coming down with a cold the second you get on holiday...one moment of letting go and your body lets go completely.

The business I am in is extremely cyclical. Summers are dead quiet, Septembers are murder, end of year (as with every business with a bottom line) is hellish. And May is, well, just brutal. So I am glad to see the end of it, and my hand twitching at least spells a winding down towards summer.

The whole summer is now stretched out in front of me...hopefully a series of days and weekends of sun, languidity and softball, maybe a theme park or two, and lots of walking. Sounds like heaven. MH and I always promise to spend more of the summer out and about, so I hope this summer is less like the last (promising but never coming through with our outdoorsy committments). My brother arrives in late August (yesterdays most extravagant purchase...a plane ticket for his b-day) and I look forward to the planning of that too...to share some of Canada with him by himself. More on this later.

So, tick (literally) tock, time passes, and days get longer. 29 degrees promised for Sunday. I just hope it all follows through.

Twiddling thumbs...

I'm sitting in a hotel room in London, Ontario...between wanting o go to sleep and needing to go to sleep. I have only 6 hours until I am to have breakfast and depart for a conference. What to do if I am unable to sleep. I wish I had more time, maybe some wine. I had got quite drunk on the weekend and actually got sick (which is unusual) because I suppose my internal "stop" button got stuck on "keep drinking". I actually passed out in my room with MH and a friend downstairs. It was a safe environment but embarrasing nonetheless. Now I am wishing for a bit more to drink.

My grandmother was an alcoholic. This bothers me. I hear alcoholism runs in the family, which worries me further. Do alcoholics know that they are? However, I also know that I am NOT an alcoholic. I don't need a drink. I don't drink every day. I barely drink once a week. But tonight I'd like a drink. And yes, that worries me.

Away from MH, the world seems smaller, and less complete. I miss him. But I like missing him, as it makes me remember that I love him. I will always love him, but it is nice to be jarred out of your comfort zone of "loving" to "missing being loved". I will look forward to going home.

Reeling, busy, getting fat...

Life is so busy and hectic right now, that I'm getting fat. Now, considering the daring depths of weight loss that I undertook to be radiant for our wedding day, it was only natural that I'd gain some weight...I couldn't maintain it forever. However, I am now getting distinctly podgy. And no, it's not a "I'm so in love, I'm getting fat" type of thing (although yes, I am in love) but rather a work-too-much-take-work-home-too-exhausted-to-exercise-I'll-just-watch-America's-Next-Top-Model-instead type of weight gain.

I do have to work on the handles, I just can't be arsed.