...or not...
Pulled into a meeting at 5pm which ran until 6.40pm therefore missed the chance to go to the One of a Kind Show last night. Trying to go tonight instead.
Am feeling very strange. On the verge of tears. Inadequate. Confused. Overwhelmed. You know, all the good stuff.
It's all work related. Things have been so up and down recently.
I just wish I didn't need constant affirmation that I'm ok, that I'm not going to be let go at a moments notice. I can't stand being in someone's bad books, or even just in the shadow of grace. My last job, I always felt underappreciated, over-used, over-worked and underpaid...you know, the typical stuff. Here, I feel like I am struggling, as if I am standing on constantly shaky ground with no chance to stop the quaking. I have no part in the quaking, but am made to feel as if I do.
There is just something I cannot stand about helplessness...like when you are blamed for something that you didn't do and have no way of defending yourself. And to attempt to defend yourself sounds too much like lies, or that you are too vehement. I just feel as if everyone got the memo, but they didn't give me one on purpose, and now they're all at a meeting and wondering where I am. It really, really tough, and almost insurmountable. I'm trying not to cry.
Maybe it's PMS, I don't know. I feel like my time here is both limited, and unlimited. I just don't know.
Am feeling very strange. On the verge of tears. Inadequate. Confused. Overwhelmed. You know, all the good stuff.
It's all work related. Things have been so up and down recently.
I just wish I didn't need constant affirmation that I'm ok, that I'm not going to be let go at a moments notice. I can't stand being in someone's bad books, or even just in the shadow of grace. My last job, I always felt underappreciated, over-used, over-worked and underpaid...you know, the typical stuff. Here, I feel like I am struggling, as if I am standing on constantly shaky ground with no chance to stop the quaking. I have no part in the quaking, but am made to feel as if I do.
There is just something I cannot stand about helplessness...like when you are blamed for something that you didn't do and have no way of defending yourself. And to attempt to defend yourself sounds too much like lies, or that you are too vehement. I just feel as if everyone got the memo, but they didn't give me one on purpose, and now they're all at a meeting and wondering where I am. It really, really tough, and almost insurmountable. I'm trying not to cry.
Maybe it's PMS, I don't know. I feel like my time here is both limited, and unlimited. I just don't know.
posted by Jennifer @ 12:51 p.m.
1 Comments:
At 8:07 p.m.,
Anonymous said…
Hello,
I would love to include some of the features you mention on your site, on my own website and am writing to ask permission to do that. Congratulations, on a great site, by the way!
Thanks,
from fast home make money
Post a Comment
<< Home