Dispatches from Cuba: Issue 3 - A Small Rant
Just to clarify how the whole holiday thing came to happen...
When I took my last job, I did so with no break between the old and new. In hindsight, this was a very bad thing. I really needed to take a breather, to relax and ease into a new position with a clear head and focused thoughts. Instead, by jumping right in, I felt overwhelmed, teary and disappointed, leading to my almost immediate new-new job search. Thankfully, I got the position, and this time, I decided to take that break.
unfortunately, with MB's finances a little less fluid than mine, I would have to put up his side of the cashola. I didn't mind, even though it was a lot of money...I needed the break and I wasn't going to go without him. I figured that we are a partnership, and I'm sure next vacation will be on him!
Here's where the rant kicks in...MB was sick the entire week. If you read my earlier post "Whiney McWhiney Pants" from February, so may see that this is the second time he's been really sick in under a month. I could barely deal with it then, but having a sick and very whiney person on holiday was really tough. He didn't want to do anything, couldn't even sit by the pool for more than a couple of hours, wouldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't go on excursions or snorkel (which I love to do). I felt really torn between staying with him in a darkened room and making soothing noises, and going out and just doing the things I wanted to do. It was hard...part of the reason for going on holiday was for us to bond and do couple things again. We've had a really, really rough year, and I wanted to just "be" together. But everything felt so apart...we read, side by side, but hardly talked. We couldn't do anything romantic because he was coughing and sneezing (not to mention snoring like trucks downshifting on the highway). I felt that it was such a waste! I also couldn't snorkel because I get afraid when I go out on my own (I've seen Open Water a few too many times). I know I shouldn't feel resentful. It was, after all, not his fault he got sick. But it was on my dime (and my time) and compromised what I needed at that time. *sigh* I don't know.
It's hard when you feel mad, and shouldn't be, but feel it anyway.
When I took my last job, I did so with no break between the old and new. In hindsight, this was a very bad thing. I really needed to take a breather, to relax and ease into a new position with a clear head and focused thoughts. Instead, by jumping right in, I felt overwhelmed, teary and disappointed, leading to my almost immediate new-new job search. Thankfully, I got the position, and this time, I decided to take that break.
unfortunately, with MB's finances a little less fluid than mine, I would have to put up his side of the cashola. I didn't mind, even though it was a lot of money...I needed the break and I wasn't going to go without him. I figured that we are a partnership, and I'm sure next vacation will be on him!
Here's where the rant kicks in...MB was sick the entire week. If you read my earlier post "Whiney McWhiney Pants" from February, so may see that this is the second time he's been really sick in under a month. I could barely deal with it then, but having a sick and very whiney person on holiday was really tough. He didn't want to do anything, couldn't even sit by the pool for more than a couple of hours, wouldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't go on excursions or snorkel (which I love to do). I felt really torn between staying with him in a darkened room and making soothing noises, and going out and just doing the things I wanted to do. It was hard...part of the reason for going on holiday was for us to bond and do couple things again. We've had a really, really rough year, and I wanted to just "be" together. But everything felt so apart...we read, side by side, but hardly talked. We couldn't do anything romantic because he was coughing and sneezing (not to mention snoring like trucks downshifting on the highway). I felt that it was such a waste! I also couldn't snorkel because I get afraid when I go out on my own (I've seen Open Water a few too many times). I know I shouldn't feel resentful. It was, after all, not his fault he got sick. But it was on my dime (and my time) and compromised what I needed at that time. *sigh* I don't know.
It's hard when you feel mad, and shouldn't be, but feel it anyway.
posted by Jennifer @ 11:07 a.m.
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