Dear MB...

I just want to explain myself. I know you don't believe in blogs. I know that you think bloggers are, well, self-involved loudmouths who want attention. But I think I needed an outlet, you know, to get it all down. I forget things now, and I'm only 27! Until very recently, when purposely trying to remember all of the little details of my life, I had forgotten that I had a Swedish penpal when I was in primary school. I forgot what year I went to Sicily with my family, or for that matter, anything that happened when I was there (and no, my memory loss wasn't fueled by alcohol). I forgot so many great conversations, so many people, so many good and bad times, that it is time to start remembering again. Not only remembering things gone by, but remembering who I am again, outside of who we are together. I want something that is mine, that gives me an outlet for joy and pain. Someday, at some point, you are going to google me, or just look at the history file of my computer and you are going to find this. You are going to read things that you don't understand, and that you don't want to be true. But when you stop being shocked that I've been hiding something from you, you might begin to know more about me...the part that is private, the part that has hopes and dreams, the part that loves you forever, even if you hate me for hiding these feelings from you. And they aren't bad feelings, they aren't feelings like "Oh God, MB doesn't understand me, so I have to write things here instead of telling him, wah wah wah" because that isn't true. I just feel the need to get it out there...to be blameless, to be honest, to hide nothing. I hope you understand, I hope you do. I love you very much.

Barlet